I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
