He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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