I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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