dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if only i could text you this smell
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
