You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
