So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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