I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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