I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize