Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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