Can i not drive my cunt home
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
