on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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