After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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