you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
