Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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