I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
