Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
