So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
