I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's Friday. Sex?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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