12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
