he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
