you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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