this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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