I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize