Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
