Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
only if we run a train.
done.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
