Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
last night I used snow as a chaser
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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