Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
