Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
