Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
