Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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