yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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