Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
