Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
