Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
