She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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