I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found a bag of teeth...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
