Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
