Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
