what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
