doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
