he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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