I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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