It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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