so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
