I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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