barbara walters just said penis...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
