I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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