I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize