Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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