Whod you bang
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
