Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
