I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
