sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize