you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
