Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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