C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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