oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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