All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
