You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
