I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
