Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
