So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
