If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
