In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
