I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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